Best Friend Breakups

Hi guys!
Hope you all had a great weekend!

This is a bit of a personal post and something I have wanted to write about for a while now.
Disclaimer: It turned into a MASSIVE essay, so if you're not really in the mood for a personal story/rant session (who can blame you!) - scroll down to the red text! :) 

So, there was a group of us 4 girls who were really, really close throughout high school. Somewhere between end of Year 11 and start of year 12, something changed. Two of the girls kinda just stopped interacting with the other two of us.

Why? I still have no idea.

We all tried having an open, honest conversation about what had changed and it was apparently solved - but the awkwardness continued on. It was a VERY weird period and it affected me a lot because I'm a very loyal person.

One of the girls literally wouldn't acknowledge me, wouldn't even say hi back to me when I waved and smiled at her - how did it go from us having hour long conversations after school to being strangers? 


Via

One lunchtime I flat out asked her if there was anything I did wrong or something that offended her (basically what caused her to hate and ignore me :P) - nothing really came out of it. At some point in that year, I realised I couldn't really do more (I had tried everything from my part) and I couldn't force anyone to like me - so I just left it.


Via


The other thing that was hard to deal with was that I knew exactly what those two girls would have been saying about me and my other friend behind our backs - because I knew how they dealt with other people they disliked, which is fine, that's their prerogative. But - to go from being such close, close friends who legitimately cared for each other, to the exact opposite - I just hated it. 

I mentioned in last week's blogpost, if you're my friend I care for you beyond and I really stick by you. When people have no regard and respect for loyalty, it really gets to me.


Via


I had done so much for both of those girls - and they had done the same back for me, and it pained me that all of that was just love lost. 

So much animosity, all so dramatic, huh? :P Hahaha.


Via


ANYWAY, this year I found out one of those friends was going through a bit of a hard time and instantly, I felt for her. I wanted to talk to her like I used to, I wanted to check on her and be there for her - but I couldn't, because she had cut me out.  

The other friend, I feel so bad about my friendship lost with her. We were each other's support system for so long, we got each other on some deeper levels - this year, something awesome happened in her life. When I saw it, my first instinct was genuine happiness for her - and then the "ugh" factor of it all set in second :P. 


Via


I could remember talking to her about stuff relating to the great thing that happened for her, her opening up to me about all her thoughts on it - all I wanted to do was message her being like, "I am SO glad things worked out for you, I am SO happy you're happy", but I couldn't, she would just think it was weird. It would just hurt me more, the way everyone ended up getting treated in this whole situation was unfair.  

I ran into her one time on the bus, when we were talking it felt so strange pretending we were still friends - cause so much of it felt so normal and similar to how we were, it reminded me of her and our good side - but it was so weird.


Via


It's this strange situation that all four of us still stay updated on each others' lives, we're facebook friends, follow each other on instagram, but can I like their photos? So many times I want to, but I don't. Other times I look at their photos and am like "Ugh...". Same from their end, I presume. 

Those two are best friends now, and me and my other friend are best friends - which I'm so grateful for, one good thing that came out of all this ❤️


Via


If things were how it was between us all earlier, everything would be so completely different. I hate conflict like this. So now we all avoid each other - it's awkward. I don't like it. 

I am ALL FOR girl power and supporting and encouraging other girls, and I hate that we don't do that for each other now. It makes me quite sad to think about it, but we all brought it upon ourselves I guess?

Us girls can be such a powerful force when we support each other :)


A little part of me would love for them to stumble across this post one day, I wonder if it would change how they felt about things? Sometimes I think about if for some reason things were to change on their end, would I want to be friends with them again?





Which leads me to the kinda funny part of this post - how much does all this sound like I'm talking about a relationship breakup? Hahaha.

ANYWAY - if you read through that whole vent/rant, wow! I'm impressed! Haha. Thank you for listening to my ramblings. Have you guys ever been in a similar situation?

If you ever find yourself in a toxic situation, there is only so much you can do/try/fight for that relationship - at some point you have to accept it, distance yourself and just let it be. 


Via


 If you've skipped down to here, below is something I'm so excited about!!

On a more lighthearted note, 
I had mentioned last week that I was going to be announcing a cool blogpost idea...
It's time!

Now, I'm giving credit where credit is due, I totally stole this idea off of one of my favourite magazines - Style Magazine
One of their journalists did a challenge on living living by "mantra memes", as she called it. 

Essentially, my version will look a little like this:
Each day for these next 7 days, one of my besties (thanks Ace! ❤️), will be sending me a motivational life mantra/life inspiration/quote photo - whatever you wanna call it! 
Each day I will have to incorporate it into my life (to the best extent I can!) after figuring out what each mantra means to me.

So, for example, the journalist got this on Day 1 of her challenge:

And you can see, she decoded the mantra to mean doing something she had never done before, something that pushed her out of her comfort zone - she chose to run every morning.

I'm really excited for my 'Living on Mantras' Challenge! I think it'll be super interesting - and can't wait to share the experience with you guys next week!

So, as always...

New blog post will be up next Tuesday!!! 

Until then, you can Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Or follow me below at - 
They're all linked so you should just be able to click on them! :)

Have a great rest of the week!


❤️Raashi


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24 comments:

  1. Hey,I actually had the same happen to me x) I've been friends with some girls for years and years and suddenly we stopped hanging out. What happened? I still have no idea. We say hi to each other and that's that. Anyway,it's been 2 years since then and I got new friends but it is really odd not to talk to someone who you've been talking to every day for hours for more than 5 years.
    Ah well...

    Anyway,I really like that idea with the mantras. I hope you will be able to do it :D


    aluminah.wordpress.com

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    1. It happens to so many people, hey? Like you, I'm lucky enough to have an amazing group of friends still - but it is so strange how that can happen!

      Thanks so much for the support, so far the week has been interesting :P

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  2. This post is really touching♥♥

    chocolateandsunset.com

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    1. Thank you Summer! Something I needed to get off my chest for a while now, your blog is adorable!!! :)

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  3. Friend breakups can be worse than relationship breakups in my opinion. I've gone through a few things like this, and you have to make the best of what happens-you're right, you can't force anyone to like you! Also, enjoy your Living By Mantras experiment! :)
    xo Kiki
    http://colormekiki.com/

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    1. I saw that phrase and was like, "that's so true!" haha. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people can relate to situations like that :( But, everyone moves on and gains good things out of it! Hehe - thank you! Can't wait to update everyone, it's been interesting so far! :)

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  4. Best friend break ups suck but sometimes you just have to remove yourself from that toxic situation. It's unhealthy and just damn right unfair! I had to cut of links with my absolute rock last year after she turned into a right arse ^.^ Hope you're okay now! x

    goodmorningbelle.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Ugh - it's just crazy hey! Thank you! Hope you are good after having to deal with that Vicky :/ We gain something out of everything! :)

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  5. These are the worst break-ups! We've all been through one and in most of the cases you don't even know why it happened. It's difficult to imagine why the other person just stopped caring, I'm just like you: when I consider someone a friend, I give my full support. Great post as usual!

    Anyway, I've been absent for some time now, but I hope that now I'll be able to read your post more regularly. I've nominated you for some blog awards, which you can check out here I've nominated you for some awards! Check it out http://thereadingarmchair.blogspot.gr/2015/09/one-lovely-blog-award-and-sunshine.html and right now I'm preparing the Five Year Time tag, so I'll be posting the link to you later :)

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    1. Awww I love that you're the same when it comes to loyalty! Thank you so much for the nominations, hopefully I'll be able to get it up by this weekend - absolutely loved your 5 Years Tag!!! :)

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  6. What a super idea for a challenge - I love it! So sorry to hear about your tough times with friendships - I think I can say (from the perspective of a 28 year old) that sadly these things happen, and sometimes people just drift away. More and more, you'll learn to just really value the friends that stick around (and they're not always the ones you think). Lots of hugs anyway! xxx

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    1. Awww thank you so much for your perspective Miranda - especially coming from someone as well put together and insightful as you! So excited to share the results of the challenge with you guys - it's definitely been interesting hehe.

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  7. I read this whole post (as I always will!). I think we've all been there though, where we've drifted from someone or people who were close to us. It's such a difficult thing to adjust to, especially when you can't figure out why it happens! Eventually you just learn you just need to move on and appreciate your memories for what they are!

    Also your mantra challenge sounds brilliant, I think it's a great idea!

    Musings & More

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    1. Yeah I think the part that makes it the hardest is when there is no clear-cut reason, but like you said, better to just move on from it all!

      Oooh thank you, can't wait to update you about it - it's been a lot of fun! :)

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  8. Oh Raashi, I'm so sorry you had to go through that! But situations like these make you stronger!
    I had a similar thing happen to, ironically between 11th and 12th grade as well with my former best friend. We used to be inseperable, like sisters, but she started going down a bath path and making destructive decisions and when I tried to stop her she would get very defensive about it and start throwing accusations at me. I had to cut her off after I while because it wasn't doing my mental health any good.
    Looking back it was the best decision to end that friendship even though it was hard, she was emotionally manipulative and I would even go so far to say verbally/emotionally abusive.
    So it was a lot like breaking up, just like you said. It was a toxic friendship. And I remember it took me so long to not care anymore when I heard the new things she did, and not feeling responsible for her.
    I still feel like if she would ever really need help or if I saw her cry I would be there for her.
    And I know how you feel about your second friend. My ex-bestie was my support system as well but after all of it I realized teh best support system I had was myself and my family!
    Everything you wrote is soo true! Toxic friendships are not worth fighting for and cannot be saved.
    I'm loving the new Blogpost idea! I love the idea of the "Living on Mantras Challenge!" keep us up on that! :)
    Also I just remembered I still have to do the 5 year tag you tagged me in :) , don't worry I haven't forgotten it, I just haven't had the time to search for an old picture yet with moving out and all :(
    I loved this post and that is was a personal one.

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    1. Awww Rose I hate that unfortunately you've had to deal with something similar - one of my best friends is going through something similar with her best friend at the moment, it's especially hard when their changing behaviours start to take a toll on your own being!

      I think it's so normal for us as friends (or ex-friends :P) to still feel for them in good or bad times, crazy that we can't just be open about it to them anymore! But like you said, at the end of the day we're all our own priority and our family is always there as support! :)

      Hehe thanks Rose! So excited to share the 'Living By Mantras' update with you, it's been good fun! Oooh, no worries at all - excited to see it whenever you do get to post it!!! If I remember correctly you have your operation and moving out all from this Fri-Mon? Good luck with it all Rose!!!

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  9. I love the quote you included about can't forcing anyone to like you. When is the bit younger even a couple years ago place to take it so personally if someone didn't like me. Now I realize it's not just me about them as well. Sometimes it's just time to move on. :]

    // ▲ itsCarmen.com ▲

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    1. So very true Carmen, after a while of trying I realised if they were that dead set against disliking me I couldn't do much more - time to let it be and move past it! :)

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  10. I am looking forward to your new challenge and I still owe you a post about where I want to be in 5 years!

    Friendships are tough but I have found that sometimes friends drift apart, which is difficult. The good thing is that allows new friendships to grow. I love reading your posts. :)

    xoxoBella | http://xoxobella.com

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    1. I am 4 days in and actually so excited to show you guys the results hehe, quite interesting for sure! Aww no worries, excited to read it whenever you get to post it!

      Aww I love that way of looking at it cause only the other day I thought maybe that was meant to happen to allow for space for some of my now closest friends to enter into my life. Thank you so much Bella - means so much coming from you! :)

      Raashi
      raashiagarwal.blogspot.com.au

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  11. First, let me start off saying I'm so sorry! It's much harder to get closure about splits when you really don't have any answers. It sounds like it was just so sudden! And yet, you four were so close that there must be a REASON. I'm happy that you were able to move on from it. It's weird that you'll always have those people in your life who you want to see do well, but it's weird when you have to do it from a distance. I'm a loyal person too. I definitely would rather have a few good friends I would do anything for rather than a lot of causal friends. Good for you for moving on with your life, though this was such a bad situation!

    Laura

    http://thefoxtrails.blogspot.com

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    1. Awww Laura - I love just how much you completely get it! Thank you so much for SUCH a lovely comment - you're so insanely sweet (and totally, totally right about all of it)! ❤️

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  12. hey raashi not sure if my comment got posted yesterday but just want to let you know you're not alone and i've also experienced the same thing. when it happened to me, it was when i was in grade 12. i drifted from my best friend at the same - later we talked it out - and it was apparently nothing i did/said wrong. i think she just grew up a lot quicker and more mature than the rest of us, and she felt that she wasn't being her true self around people and that really bothered her, and distancing herself from certain ppl (including me) was all she knew how to do then. it was hard on me for a long time, but i don't think it was until the last couple of years that i really got over it and understood. we are not nearly as close as we were before but we the only thing you can do is to be 100% yourself, and that's the best you can be. don't be hard on yourself, just focus on being the best you you can be, and those who matter will love you for you :-) remember, it's nothing you did! and if you want to say hi/congratulate them, do it! like you would any other person if you were genuinely happy for them - by not attaching the past/hurt feelings to it, u may finally be able to 100% move forward. good luck, girl!

    - cin

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    1. Cin, this is so incredible of you! Your comment yesterday didn't get posted for some reason, but I'm so glad this one came through! You're so right though, after a while I realised I can't do much more, I will just focus on myself! Thank you for this, your words are so encouraging and lovely :)

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